There are a lot of angles to take on how to be a parent. Some read the book and try to go by that, and some try and "go with the gut", and do it how they think that they should. Each parent may try a different way, and there isn't one ultimate way that is right. There are parents that treat their kids badly, and the kids may be some of the best people you could ever imagine. The parent may think that the kid is doing something wrong, when in reality, they are the ones too stubborn to think of anyone other than themselves.
For the seniors, college is coming up, which signifies their independence. There may be some of us who have already left the nest, and are living on their own, yet for most this is the first step outside of what we have always known. There are kids that are counting down the days to go until college, excited to be leaving. And there are also the kids who are scared to leave their parents, go to college, and then into the real world. Some parents are doing everything they can to stay in control of their kids until they go to college, where they can do whatever they want.
I feel like I have several different parents. A lot of my mom's friends act like moms to me, and I even have one that I call my "other mother". When my mom isn't there, her friend checks in on me sometimes to make sure that I'm okay. I don't have the movie family of my parents being together forever, since they're divorced. Yet when they got divorced they promised that they'd still be friends for the kids. They also decided to live within a walkable distance from each other to make it easier for my brother and I. The relationship my mom and dad have now is really different from a lot of people whose parents are divorced. There are kids who have to play messenger for their parents, where the mom calls the kid, then the kid has to call the dad.. etc.
The two people that came in for our interviews told us very different stories on how they are parenting, and how they came to be parents. The security guard was telling us how she has her mom and her grandma watching her kid when she's at work, or away. She said how it's helpful that she is able to call them any time she doesn't know what is happening to her kid, no matter what time, since they have kids and experiences of their own. Yet in the end, she doesn't go by the book (which she said sucks) or her family, she goes by what she thinks is best.
Rob told us how it was for him and his lover going about adopting a baby girl. The mother chose him and his guy out of all the people that wanted to adopt the girl, which was very special to him. His daughter is going to grow up with two guys as parents, which doesn't happen for most of us. He was telling us how his family is really strict and traditional, and that they weren't talking to him for a while after he told them he was adopting a kid. His boyfriend's parents are very liberal, and support them. This often happens, one set of parents being happy and supportive of the couple, and one family that isn't. Like in Rent the musical, the white family was snotty and didn't understand their daughter, while the other family was really sweet and welcomed their daughter's partner into their family.
Parenting, as a topic, doesn't really require many insights. We all have parents, if they act like them or not. For me, I got to appreciate how my mom is, and how she is there for me at all times. I got to think about the kids who don't have as strong of a relationship with their parents as I do, and I got to think about my brother and I. But as a mini-unit, it wasn't that interesting. Yes, there are many kinds of parents, and we all have parents. Some wish that their parents acted one way, or another way. And the really scary thought is that some of us are going to go on to be parents of their own.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Homework #57, Parenting, Is There A "Right" Way?
My first thought is that I'm eighteen, and obviously not a parent so I can't speak as one to say the right way to do it. There are also many, many different kinds of of parenting, and ways to be parental. I don't really believe that we will all turn into our parents and parent the way they do when we're older. There are many, many exceptions to the rule.
There are times where parents believe that violence is the way to treat a kid, and that in order to make the kid behave, they really do have to make them behave. My mom's mom treated my mom really badly, both verbally and physically. She believed that when my mom was "bad" that she could take it out on her. She also believed in the 'if you don't eat everything on your plate you have to stay there until you do' method.
Having a mom like that, my mom promised that she'd never treat her kids like her mom had treated her. I know that not all parents are exactly the same, and that how my parents are shifts how I understand or don't understand other parents. My mom is the very nurturing, caring, understanding kind of mom, so I don't understand the parents who treat their kids terribly. I consider her one of my closet best friends, and can talk to her about anything. She gets up in the morning to make sure my brother and I eat, and that we go to school. My brother and I can be who we are, and accepted and loved for that.
Of course, kids think that their parents are embarrassing, and that they're supposed to be embarrassed by them. This happens from a young age, until they are much older. Yet I'm not embarrassed by my mom. So many kids call her mom, and she acts as the mom to all of the kids. If one of Kyle's or my friends are sick, or hurt, my mom will be a mom to them as well. She works with children all the time with her Non-Profit organization, as well as being the mom of two teenagers.
There are definitely kids that rebel against their parents just for the hell of it. If they are told one thing, they may purposely do the other. I don't think using violence as a parent is the way to go. Either the kid goes on to be an abusive parent, they rebel, they're messed up from it, or, like my mom, they promise not to be like their parents were. In Five People You Meet In Heaven, there is a part that says how parents harm their children and affect them negatively: "all parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair" (page 104). I do think that parents affect their kids, either negatively or positively, but I don't think that every parent damages their children. I'm unable to say how a parent should be, but I know that for me, my relationship with my mom has helped me to be who I am today.
There are times where parents believe that violence is the way to treat a kid, and that in order to make the kid behave, they really do have to make them behave. My mom's mom treated my mom really badly, both verbally and physically. She believed that when my mom was "bad" that she could take it out on her. She also believed in the 'if you don't eat everything on your plate you have to stay there until you do' method.
Having a mom like that, my mom promised that she'd never treat her kids like her mom had treated her. I know that not all parents are exactly the same, and that how my parents are shifts how I understand or don't understand other parents. My mom is the very nurturing, caring, understanding kind of mom, so I don't understand the parents who treat their kids terribly. I consider her one of my closet best friends, and can talk to her about anything. She gets up in the morning to make sure my brother and I eat, and that we go to school. My brother and I can be who we are, and accepted and loved for that.
Of course, kids think that their parents are embarrassing, and that they're supposed to be embarrassed by them. This happens from a young age, until they are much older. Yet I'm not embarrassed by my mom. So many kids call her mom, and she acts as the mom to all of the kids. If one of Kyle's or my friends are sick, or hurt, my mom will be a mom to them as well. She works with children all the time with her Non-Profit organization, as well as being the mom of two teenagers.
There are definitely kids that rebel against their parents just for the hell of it. If they are told one thing, they may purposely do the other. I don't think using violence as a parent is the way to go. Either the kid goes on to be an abusive parent, they rebel, they're messed up from it, or, like my mom, they promise not to be like their parents were. In Five People You Meet In Heaven, there is a part that says how parents harm their children and affect them negatively: "all parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair" (page 104). I do think that parents affect their kids, either negatively or positively, but I don't think that every parent damages their children. I'm unable to say how a parent should be, but I know that for me, my relationship with my mom has helped me to be who I am today.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Homework #56, Interviewing People
I decided to make my survey anonymous but to say which gender since that's what I'm researching.
Questions:
-Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
- Have you been in both types of relationships?
- If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
-Which type of relationship was more comfortable for you?
-In which relationship did you feel that you related to the person more?
Female #1:
Q:Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Bi. I bet you didn't think I'd say that did you? I think everybody's bi, which is what Freud's theory..
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I actually found women much more difficult to be in a relationship with than men. They were more possessive and demanding.
Male #1.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Gay.
Q: Have you been in both types of relationships?
A: No, I've only been with guys. Because I know men more than I know women. I know how they work better.
Female #2:
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: I'm not sure lol
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I feel like girls are more understanding of your feelings but they can be just as sneaky as guys. Guys don't try and relate to you as much.
Q: Which were you more comfortable in?
A: Not sure
Male #2:
Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Bi
Q: Have you been in both types of relationships?
A: Yes
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I'm more sweet with girls
Q: Which relationship were you more comfortable in?
A: Girls
Q: Why?
A: Cuz with girls I'm more lovey and with guys I'm more about the sex
Q: Which did you feel more yourself in?
A: In both
Q: Which did you relate to more?
A: Girls
Female #3.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: I would consider myself straight, although I have had many encounters with the same sex.
Q: I was about to ask if you've been in both relationships
A: Yes I have. But not neccesarily committed.
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: Emotionally I feel that with a guy I become more attached because of the simple fact that I will never fully relate to or understand men whereas with woman I was never running after them and looking for answers considering I knew most of them being a woman.
Q: Which relationship did you feel more comfortable in?
A: Probably the one with the girl because I was revealing something that was the same to her.
Q: Which did you feel more yourself in? or is that the same thing?
A: Kind of similar but I was never really in a serious relationship with a girl compared to a boy but if I were going to make what I had with this one girl a relationship i am sure I would have been more of myself than with a boy only because I get so shy with boys.
Just to be different..
Male #3.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Straight
Q: Have you ever had experimented with the same sex?
A: No
Questions:
-Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
- Have you been in both types of relationships?
- If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
-Which type of relationship was more comfortable for you?
-In which relationship did you feel that you related to the person more?
Female #1:
Q:Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Bi. I bet you didn't think I'd say that did you? I think everybody's bi, which is what Freud's theory..
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I actually found women much more difficult to be in a relationship with than men. They were more possessive and demanding.
Male #1.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Gay.
Q: Have you been in both types of relationships?
A: No, I've only been with guys. Because I know men more than I know women. I know how they work better.
Female #2:
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: I'm not sure lol
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I feel like girls are more understanding of your feelings but they can be just as sneaky as guys. Guys don't try and relate to you as much.
Q: Which were you more comfortable in?
A: Not sure
Male #2:
Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Bi
Q: Have you been in both types of relationships?
A: Yes
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: I'm more sweet with girls
Q: Which relationship were you more comfortable in?
A: Girls
Q: Why?
A: Cuz with girls I'm more lovey and with guys I'm more about the sex
Q: Which did you feel more yourself in?
A: In both
Q: Which did you relate to more?
A: Girls
Female #3.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: I would consider myself straight, although I have had many encounters with the same sex.
Q: I was about to ask if you've been in both relationships
A: Yes I have. But not neccesarily committed.
Q: If you've been in a both kinds of relationships, how are different emotionally?
A: Emotionally I feel that with a guy I become more attached because of the simple fact that I will never fully relate to or understand men whereas with woman I was never running after them and looking for answers considering I knew most of them being a woman.
Q: Which relationship did you feel more comfortable in?
A: Probably the one with the girl because I was revealing something that was the same to her.
Q: Which did you feel more yourself in? or is that the same thing?
A: Kind of similar but I was never really in a serious relationship with a girl compared to a boy but if I were going to make what I had with this one girl a relationship i am sure I would have been more of myself than with a boy only because I get so shy with boys.
Just to be different..
Male #3.
Q: Would you consider yourself gay, straight, or bi?
A: Straight
Q: Have you ever had experimented with the same sex?
A: No
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Homework #55, Independent Research
How are same-sex relationships different from straight relationships?/ How is the comfort level similar or different between dating someone of the same sex or different sex?
It is the year 2010, and there are couples of the same sex everywhere. In high school so many teenagers are experimenting, and trying to find their identity and comfort levels. " For many, questions of gender and sexuality are among the issues on the table." (Defining Me). This is the age where we are all trying to discover who we are, and what we are. We are all trying to form our own identities instead of what our parents tried to make us into, or how others have shaped us.
Sometimes it's about attraction despite the body, and sometimes it's about who understands who more. I was talking to my mom once and she was saying how one of the reasons so many girls are dating other girls at our age is because they understand each other more, and how they "work". It's the same thing with my brother, he told me how he understands men and knows "how they work" while he doesn't understand women. Another thing is that there are times where the guy is being a piggish man and trying to get the girl to do things she doesn't want to do, while the guy still wants her to do it. This can also happen in reverse, or in other couples as well but I'm specifically talking about when this is the case. Then a girl may find another girl, who loves and understands her and wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.
There are cases when someone might get married to a person of the opposite sex, have kids with them, and then get divorced and find a gay lover. One of my mom's friends did exactly that. I know a man who was married for many years, and has a kid in high school who is a little younger than me. The dad used to go to PTA meetings, and seem really straight and boring. (Not saying that gay people can't go to PTA meetings or that straight people are boring). He got divorced from his wife and now has one of the sweetest guy lovers. At first we were really surprised because he didn't seem like that at all, but I think it's about who the person is inside, and not always the body that they're in: "For many people of all ages, love is situational, based on the person rather than gender. " (Defining Me).
Like I had said in my blog before: "A year or so ago, I used to talk with my friends Alice and Cleo about relationships, and how it doesn't always matter what body a person is in. It's just about the spirt, and how the person is. I hadn't experienced it at the time, but we used to talk about when you're in love, it doesn't matter about gender, it just matters that you're happy. And once love grabs you by the throat, it really doesn't matter then. There are same sex couples.. In our school, there are tons of them. Gender roles don't matter so much any more. There are tons of kinds of people. There are girly girls and the tomgirls. There are manly men and the soft, sympathetic boys (they're out there somewhere)."
We also don't have to be pinned down: "In general, I'm not fond of boxes and categories. I like the concept that we as individuals have options and that we could be flexible." In the past it was a lot harder for people to experiment and go outside of the norm, yet now "the Gay-Straight Alliance has grown significantly from 4-5 people two years ago to 35 to 40 now." That shows that since two years ago, the GSA at Ithaca has gown 30-31 people. (Defining Me).
"She recalls hearing a girl talk about how it's always OK for two girls to be together as a couple - which many young men find exciting. "'it's harder to be a guy who's feminine than it is to be a girl who's a tomboy. There's much less stigma to being a lesbian - it still fits into the male idea of what a girl should be.' On the whole, while male attitudes might not influence a young woman's orientation, the acceptance makes it easier for her to be herself." (Defining Me). Thinking about it, there aren't a lot of guy couples at our school, and many female couples. In the city? Not sure. There are also the teenagers that think two good looking girls or guys dating is a waste of "hot bodies", while they may be jealous or can't understand it themselves.
The outside forces shouldn't matter as much as the two people in the relationship. Parents especially shouldn't try to control their kids just because they think the same sex relationship is wrong. It doesn't really matter as much how society sees a couple, it matters if they are happy together. Because really, no one outside of the couple has to understand.
Works Cited:
-Gadiel, Karen. Defining Me. 04/27/2005.
http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=14423310&BRD=1395&PAG=461&dept_id=216620&rfi=6 A lot of the quotes I used are from here. It discusses how teens are trying to discover themselves but aren't necessicarially trying to label how they are. It says how there are a lot more people experimenting these days than there were before, and discusses how people can get married to the opposite gender then break up and date a person of the same gender. It also says how it may be easier for girls to be together because it's still acceptable, yet if isn't as acceptable for gay guys. An interesting thing it said "[Women] tend to be more fluid, not exclusively genitally focused. "
-The Nemours Foundation. About Sexual Orientation. 1995-2010
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/sexual_orientation.html Has a lot of background information and definitions on sexual orientation, homosexuality, heterosexuality.. If people choose who they are attracted to or not, what it's like being a gay teen, coming out, and "the importance of talking". It also talks about how society sees gay and lesbian couples, and the importance of being able to talk to someone. It says "These medical professionals believe that — in most cases — sexual orientation, whatever its causes, is not simply chosen."
-Friedrichs, Ellen. Who Should Be Paying on a Same Sex Date? 2010.
http://gayteens.about.com/od/datingandmeetingothers/f/paying_on_a_same_sex_date.htm One of the things this site was saying is how the relationship doesn't have to be the old-fashioned guy asks girl out thing, since you're dating someone of the same sex. "When two guys, or two girls go out, they have a lot more freedom than their straight peers. Because same sex relationships are new to a lot of people, there are fewer family and societal expectations to live up to. " And instead of one person paying the bill, it said:
"Take Turns. One person pays one time, the other the next.
Split the Bill. There is no shame in going Dutch. Plus, it's a great way to maintain equality.
The One Who Asks, Treats. Many gay teens use the rule that the person who asks someone out on a date is the one who should be paying. " Which makes sense and sounds fair. It's interesting how this website is saying that gay and lesbian couples have more freedom because they are newer.
-Ritch C. Savin-Williams. 'The New Gay Teenager'. 3 September 2008http://www.narth.com/docs/newgayteenager2.html "Early same-sex attractions for many teenagers are sources of great delight, fond remembrance, and lifetime reverberations; they may even be these individuals' most tender and pleasurable childhood memories." This is a whole book with the chapters as different categories on "The New Gay Teenager". It talks about forming an identity, researchers looking at gay teens, models on gay teens, and a chapter called "Early Same-Sex Attractions: A Great Delight". It also says how today teens are pansexual or bisexual, and that they don't have a specific label for what they are. It also says "teenagers are rejecting gender categories in their pursuit of satisfying sexual relationships."
It is the year 2010, and there are couples of the same sex everywhere. In high school so many teenagers are experimenting, and trying to find their identity and comfort levels. " For many, questions of gender and sexuality are among the issues on the table." (Defining Me). This is the age where we are all trying to discover who we are, and what we are. We are all trying to form our own identities instead of what our parents tried to make us into, or how others have shaped us.
Sometimes it's about attraction despite the body, and sometimes it's about who understands who more. I was talking to my mom once and she was saying how one of the reasons so many girls are dating other girls at our age is because they understand each other more, and how they "work". It's the same thing with my brother, he told me how he understands men and knows "how they work" while he doesn't understand women. Another thing is that there are times where the guy is being a piggish man and trying to get the girl to do things she doesn't want to do, while the guy still wants her to do it. This can also happen in reverse, or in other couples as well but I'm specifically talking about when this is the case. Then a girl may find another girl, who loves and understands her and wouldn't do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.
There are cases when someone might get married to a person of the opposite sex, have kids with them, and then get divorced and find a gay lover. One of my mom's friends did exactly that. I know a man who was married for many years, and has a kid in high school who is a little younger than me. The dad used to go to PTA meetings, and seem really straight and boring. (Not saying that gay people can't go to PTA meetings or that straight people are boring). He got divorced from his wife and now has one of the sweetest guy lovers. At first we were really surprised because he didn't seem like that at all, but I think it's about who the person is inside, and not always the body that they're in: "For many people of all ages, love is situational, based on the person rather than gender. " (Defining Me).
Like I had said in my blog before: "A year or so ago, I used to talk with my friends Alice and Cleo about relationships, and how it doesn't always matter what body a person is in. It's just about the spirt, and how the person is. I hadn't experienced it at the time, but we used to talk about when you're in love, it doesn't matter about gender, it just matters that you're happy. And once love grabs you by the throat, it really doesn't matter then. There are same sex couples.. In our school, there are tons of them. Gender roles don't matter so much any more. There are tons of kinds of people. There are girly girls and the tomgirls. There are manly men and the soft, sympathetic boys (they're out there somewhere)."
We also don't have to be pinned down: "In general, I'm not fond of boxes and categories. I like the concept that we as individuals have options and that we could be flexible." In the past it was a lot harder for people to experiment and go outside of the norm, yet now "the Gay-Straight Alliance has grown significantly from 4-5 people two years ago to 35 to 40 now." That shows that since two years ago, the GSA at Ithaca has gown 30-31 people. (Defining Me).
"She recalls hearing a girl talk about how it's always OK for two girls to be together as a couple - which many young men find exciting. "'it's harder to be a guy who's feminine than it is to be a girl who's a tomboy. There's much less stigma to being a lesbian - it still fits into the male idea of what a girl should be.' On the whole, while male attitudes might not influence a young woman's orientation, the acceptance makes it easier for her to be herself." (Defining Me). Thinking about it, there aren't a lot of guy couples at our school, and many female couples. In the city? Not sure. There are also the teenagers that think two good looking girls or guys dating is a waste of "hot bodies", while they may be jealous or can't understand it themselves.
The outside forces shouldn't matter as much as the two people in the relationship. Parents especially shouldn't try to control their kids just because they think the same sex relationship is wrong. It doesn't really matter as much how society sees a couple, it matters if they are happy together. Because really, no one outside of the couple has to understand.
Works Cited:
-Gadiel, Karen. Defining Me. 04/27/2005.
http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=14423310&BRD=1395&PAG=461&dept_id=216620&rfi=6 A lot of the quotes I used are from here. It discusses how teens are trying to discover themselves but aren't necessicarially trying to label how they are. It says how there are a lot more people experimenting these days than there were before, and discusses how people can get married to the opposite gender then break up and date a person of the same gender. It also says how it may be easier for girls to be together because it's still acceptable, yet if isn't as acceptable for gay guys. An interesting thing it said "[Women] tend to be more fluid, not exclusively genitally focused. "
-The Nemours Foundation. About Sexual Orientation. 1995-2010
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/sexual_orientation.html Has a lot of background information and definitions on sexual orientation, homosexuality, heterosexuality.. If people choose who they are attracted to or not, what it's like being a gay teen, coming out, and "the importance of talking". It also talks about how society sees gay and lesbian couples, and the importance of being able to talk to someone. It says "These medical professionals believe that — in most cases — sexual orientation, whatever its causes, is not simply chosen."
-Friedrichs, Ellen. Who Should Be Paying on a Same Sex Date? 2010.
http://gayteens.about.com/od/datingandmeetingothers/f/paying_on_a_same_sex_date.htm One of the things this site was saying is how the relationship doesn't have to be the old-fashioned guy asks girl out thing, since you're dating someone of the same sex. "When two guys, or two girls go out, they have a lot more freedom than their straight peers. Because same sex relationships are new to a lot of people, there are fewer family and societal expectations to live up to. " And instead of one person paying the bill, it said:
"Take Turns. One person pays one time, the other the next.
Split the Bill. There is no shame in going Dutch. Plus, it's a great way to maintain equality.
The One Who Asks, Treats. Many gay teens use the rule that the person who asks someone out on a date is the one who should be paying. " Which makes sense and sounds fair. It's interesting how this website is saying that gay and lesbian couples have more freedom because they are newer.
-Ritch C. Savin-Williams. 'The New Gay Teenager'. 3 September 2008http://www.narth.com/docs/newgayteenager2.html "Early same-sex attractions for many teenagers are sources of great delight, fond remembrance, and lifetime reverberations; they may even be these individuals' most tender and pleasurable childhood memories." This is a whole book with the chapters as different categories on "The New Gay Teenager". It talks about forming an identity, researchers looking at gay teens, models on gay teens, and a chapter called "Early Same-Sex Attractions: A Great Delight". It also says how today teens are pansexual or bisexual, and that they don't have a specific label for what they are. It also says "teenagers are rejecting gender categories in their pursuit of satisfying sexual relationships."
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Homework #54, "Personality" Test
ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous.
P1: I'm really not sure if I would be called an "Entertainer". The word reminds me of singers, actors, dancers.. and also the other kinds of entertainers. I think of myself as shy and quiet more than loud and out there, and my brother as the entertainer. If I already know a person though and feel comfortable around them I feel like I do have the potential to be what the survey considers as an "entertainer".
I took the personality test twice, because I didn't copy and paste it when I was in the computer lab, and I got different results each time. The first time it said I was a leader, and I wasn't sure if I was that either. I don't like the process of taking personality tests, and I've gotten different results on each one. There were a lot of questions that I clicked for the middle one on, because I wasn't sure where I was on the question, and others where I was really sure what to say. Over all the fifty questions or so blurred together, and came out with one answer.
P2: I feel like these tests aren't that accurate because a person can say different answers each time, and it doesn't really reflect how an individual is. People love taking personality tests, especially if it is right but there are only a number of answers for a person to get, and those answers aren't necessarily the right ones for a specific individual. There are so many personality tests and matches on facebook, and before that there were tests on myspace and plenty more on the internet. One student's post said how she felt unique to be in the lower percentage of people to get matched with a certain set of letters, and how she then realized that she wasn't the only one. A lot of other students had gotten the same scores as her as well, which shows how no one is truly unique when it comes to personality tests.
P1: I'm really not sure if I would be called an "Entertainer". The word reminds me of singers, actors, dancers.. and also the other kinds of entertainers. I think of myself as shy and quiet more than loud and out there, and my brother as the entertainer. If I already know a person though and feel comfortable around them I feel like I do have the potential to be what the survey considers as an "entertainer".
I took the personality test twice, because I didn't copy and paste it when I was in the computer lab, and I got different results each time. The first time it said I was a leader, and I wasn't sure if I was that either. I don't like the process of taking personality tests, and I've gotten different results on each one. There were a lot of questions that I clicked for the middle one on, because I wasn't sure where I was on the question, and others where I was really sure what to say. Over all the fifty questions or so blurred together, and came out with one answer.
P2: I feel like these tests aren't that accurate because a person can say different answers each time, and it doesn't really reflect how an individual is. People love taking personality tests, especially if it is right but there are only a number of answers for a person to get, and those answers aren't necessarily the right ones for a specific individual. There are so many personality tests and matches on facebook, and before that there were tests on myspace and plenty more on the internet. One student's post said how she felt unique to be in the lower percentage of people to get matched with a certain set of letters, and how she then realized that she wasn't the only one. A lot of other students had gotten the same scores as her as well, which shows how no one is truly unique when it comes to personality tests.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Homework #53, Click Em And Think About It
Part 1:
It took a while to actually get to the end, but I finished answering the survey.
Part 2:
The survey looked really long, so I tried answering it a couple times, and would run out of time before I could actually submit it. I feel like every time I look at a survey it seems really inhuman and uncaring -on paper or on the computer-, so I wanted to get it done as fast as possible. There were some questions that I didn't have to think about much, because I already knew how I felt about them, yet there were a couple of questions that were like speed bumps to me getting the survey done quickly. I also was using a mouse that would unclick some things, so I'd have to go back and reclick them before going on to the next question. Overall, it didn't feel like anything to take this survey. It felt the same as sitting in an office, filling out forms for the dentist, or doctor.Yet there were other questions that I had to stop and think about, either because I wasn't sure of the phrasing of the question or because I wasn't really sure which circle to click on. I was thinking "do I do this? Do I feel this way" and "if I clicked this, I can't click the other one because these two things would contradict each other while they should go together." Some of the questions seemed to be closely linked with others, so I would realize after I clicked on one answer that the next question would be like a "if yes to a, click this for b" question. Some of the questions were really raw and personal (like they were supposed to be) while others didn't really seem to matter. It makes me think of the therapists in movies who ask their patients how things are at home, and in their lives.
Part 3:
I wrote down a couple questions and scores that I had found interesting:
-Your family would/ do accept you if you were/are gay: 28.8% (15 people) said yes, generally, mostly.
-You wish you were in a different family: 55.8% (18 people) said no, not at all, which felt like a large percentage compared to it being only 18 people out of the 52 who completed the survey. I guess I expected more people to say yes, especially with all of the seniors who are excited to go to college next year.
I really liked the question "You've shared romantic love with someone", which 25% (13 people) said "exactly-always-very much so". While the second largest percentage for this question picked "neutral-maybe-sometimes" (11 people). These answers are in two separate groups: one group which seems sweet and glad to be understood, and the other which is more withdrawn.
A connection that I made is that 35.5% (18 people) said "yes exactly" to the statement "You feel good about getting older and maybe wiser", while 28.8% (15 people) said "yes, quite a lot" to the statement "you feel afraid of death." I think everyone that answered the surveys are different. Some questions may have been more personal to one person than the other, because of their own experiences. Some of the questions I felt similar to the students sitting next to me, while others I felt really different from the other people. It depends on the question and the individuals who answered them.
Part 4:
Oh my. While our informal survey was overall easy to get through and thought provoking, I hardly wanted to look at the other surveys. The formal surveys were focused specifically on "teen health", and teens having sex. While the survey we had to take focused on a couple of different categories: friends, family, the world, short answers, and vital relationships ("partnering"). The two surveys were from the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, and The national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS). These are more like facts, and look more harsh than the survey we had to do in school. The one in school seemed more personal, while those surveys seemed more factual.
Researching can be really impersonal. We all know this, we have to write exhibitions! And sometimes different places have different answers to the same question. It depends where the information is coming from, and who putting out that information. Everyone has a different perspective, so nothing is completely the same.
It took a while to actually get to the end, but I finished answering the survey.
Part 2:
The survey looked really long, so I tried answering it a couple times, and would run out of time before I could actually submit it. I feel like every time I look at a survey it seems really inhuman and uncaring -on paper or on the computer-, so I wanted to get it done as fast as possible. There were some questions that I didn't have to think about much, because I already knew how I felt about them, yet there were a couple of questions that were like speed bumps to me getting the survey done quickly. I also was using a mouse that would unclick some things, so I'd have to go back and reclick them before going on to the next question. Overall, it didn't feel like anything to take this survey. It felt the same as sitting in an office, filling out forms for the dentist, or doctor.Yet there were other questions that I had to stop and think about, either because I wasn't sure of the phrasing of the question or because I wasn't really sure which circle to click on. I was thinking "do I do this? Do I feel this way" and "if I clicked this, I can't click the other one because these two things would contradict each other while they should go together." Some of the questions seemed to be closely linked with others, so I would realize after I clicked on one answer that the next question would be like a "if yes to a, click this for b" question. Some of the questions were really raw and personal (like they were supposed to be) while others didn't really seem to matter. It makes me think of the therapists in movies who ask their patients how things are at home, and in their lives.
Part 3:
I wrote down a couple questions and scores that I had found interesting:
-Your family would/ do accept you if you were/are gay: 28.8% (15 people) said yes, generally, mostly.
-You wish you were in a different family: 55.8% (18 people) said no, not at all, which felt like a large percentage compared to it being only 18 people out of the 52 who completed the survey. I guess I expected more people to say yes, especially with all of the seniors who are excited to go to college next year.
I really liked the question "You've shared romantic love with someone", which 25% (13 people) said "exactly-always-very much so". While the second largest percentage for this question picked "neutral-maybe-sometimes" (11 people). These answers are in two separate groups: one group which seems sweet and glad to be understood, and the other which is more withdrawn.
A connection that I made is that 35.5% (18 people) said "yes exactly" to the statement "You feel good about getting older and maybe wiser", while 28.8% (15 people) said "yes, quite a lot" to the statement "you feel afraid of death." I think everyone that answered the surveys are different. Some questions may have been more personal to one person than the other, because of their own experiences. Some of the questions I felt similar to the students sitting next to me, while others I felt really different from the other people. It depends on the question and the individuals who answered them.
Part 4:
Oh my. While our informal survey was overall easy to get through and thought provoking, I hardly wanted to look at the other surveys. The formal surveys were focused specifically on "teen health", and teens having sex. While the survey we had to take focused on a couple of different categories: friends, family, the world, short answers, and vital relationships ("partnering"). The two surveys were from the New York City Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, and The national Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS). These are more like facts, and look more harsh than the survey we had to do in school. The one in school seemed more personal, while those surveys seemed more factual.
Researching can be really impersonal. We all know this, we have to write exhibitions! And sometimes different places have different answers to the same question. It depends where the information is coming from, and who putting out that information. Everyone has a different perspective, so nothing is completely the same.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Homework #52, Do you really want to know?
Note: I started writing this when I was in a really bad mood, which shows up in my writing.
My thoughts on life are that sometimes you just have to take a break and slow down. I was walking past a fountain surrounded by flowers, wishing that I could be like the people sitting there, who seemed to have all the time in the world, without as much of the worry and frustration as I was feeling at the time. There have been too many times recently where I've felt bad about taking a break, or worried that I should be working. Which leads me to my theories and thoughts on school.
Because of my current mood, my thoughts towards school aren't too positive at this point. I may look at the kids in class who are either sleeping, or calling out, and I think that at least I'm trying harder than they are. At least I'm not doing what they are. I've been feeling like no matter what I'm doing, it isn't good enough. There's too much work, and once I've completed the work there's more. And that if I feel it's too much now, it's really going to be bad in college. I also feel like I've had enough of high school. Most of my friends and people that I know are leaving, while I'm stuck in high school for another year. Thinking back on elementary school, middle school, and how high school has been so far I'm wondering why we all do it. I know that I don't want to be without an education, but I'm wondering what is it about school that makes me feel like this? Why do other students feel like this as well? What is it about school that makes people frustrated, depressed, wanting to give up? What is motivating us to continue? I'm motivated by the feeling that there will be something better after high school. Hopefully. I know that I'm going to end up going to a college where I can do what I like doing: painting, writing poetry, and being creative. Hopefully I'll actually get the time to do those things then. I don't hate school, I just hate feeling this way. There are some good things that come out of school. I'm glad that I'm at this school, instead of a school that is test based and text book based. There was a time where I got to do art four times a week, which was great. Another thing that is great about this school are the people in it. Without them, I'm not sure how I would keep coming back every day.
Over the course of middle school, and in high school, I have realized the different kinds of friendships. There can be friends that are stuck together, even though they have nothing in common. I'm not really sure how those work out. There are friendships where no one is benefitting from each other at all, and those are seriously lacking something. The friendship may start off young in middle school, where both people are happy, and it feels like they're helping each other. Those two best friends that seem inseparable. Alice and I always used to talk about how there are some friendships where one person may need the other, and the other may just be there. Alice used to be friends with a girl that she hung out with because the girl had money, no friends, and it was convenient for her (Alice) because any time she wanted something she could just ask the girl. Yet Alice felt bad hanging out with her, because she felt like she wasn't gaining or benefitting from hanging out with the girl.
Now I see what I want in my friends, because it's what I have. I can be myself, and they won't tell me to stop. One of my old best friends used to tell me to stop reading every time I'd pick up a book (reading is one of my passions) and she'd tell me to stop knitting whenever I was knitting (another hobby).. She'd call me a granny, or a nerd, or a book worm. And it wouldn't feel like a comfortable relationship. It may be wrong to discuss this on my blog and all. My point is that now I know what I want and like in a friendship. I like where people are all benefitting from each other, and they aren't afraid to be smart. They are smart, and not just smart, but smart smart. I feel a lot safer and more comfortable in this kind of friendship. As a group, we watch out for each other. We all want the other people in the group to eat, and will lend each other money. We realize when something is wrong, and want each other to be happy.
"Cuz we're in love I know it'll be alright" (Refuge (When It's Cold Outside) by John Legend) At the beginning of the school year, my thoughts on relationships was that I didn't want one. I felt like there was too much pain, and that I was better off being alone. My best friend used to ask me why I wanted to be alone, and why anyone would ever want to be alone? I had been in too many relationships that ended badly, or where I had felt miserable most of the time. I didn't want to be in a cage, and I didn't want to belong to anyone. Sounds a lot like Summer, from (500) Days Of Summer right? I've realized that now as well. As of now, my views on relationships have changed (obviously). My thoughts on relationships? I'm happy. Life is good.
Years ago, I read this quote on the paper attached to a teabag: "All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand." (Upon the Sand by Ella Wheeler Wilcox) And I completely agree with it.
There are relationships where the two people have nothing in common, and based mostly around sex (yes, I'm talking about teenagers) like in the book When It Happens by Susane Colasanti: "Are relationships always this complicated? Technically, Cynthia wasn't my girlfriend. So I don't exactly consider what we had a relationship. It was all about sex. We didn't have much in common except for our mutual lust for each other. Which was fine with me, until I got sick of the emotional void." (page 11) You get the gist. This character, Tobey, had been with a girl, but not really with her. He hadn't considered it dating, they would just have sex. Yet he knew what he wanted: "something real". And over the course of the book, he (along with everyone else) is looking for that something.
My thoughts on gender and thoughts on relationships are interlaced with each other. Sometimes, gender doesn't matter. In New York, there aren't really gender roles. Boys can have long hair and skinny jeans, and girls can dress and act like boys. There are also times where a girl by spirt is stuck in a boy's body, or vise versa, like the book Luna (by Julie Anne Peters): "Luna is a gem of a book, very unique in character and style. The book outlines the life of a boy who knows he is really a girl in a boy's body. He is a Transgender." This book is about a boy named Liam, who by day is a boy, and by night is a girl named Luna. Luna/ Liam has a sister named Regan, who is the only one that knows and supports Luna. Though my brother won't read this book, it reminds me of him. Kyle and Luna don't have similar stories, but they really remind me of each other.
My incredibly beautiful brother, Kyle.
A year or so ago, I used to talk with my friends Alice and Cleo about relationships, and how it doesn't always matter what body a person is in. It's just about the spirt, and how the person is. I hadn't experienced it at the time, but we used to talk about when you're in love, it doesn't matter about gender, it just matters that you're happy. And once love grabs you by the throat, it really doesn't matter then. It's 2010, in New York, and there are all kinds of things that are different. People dress differently, and act differently. There are same sex couples.. In our school, there are tons of them. Gender roles don't matter so much any more. There are tons of kinds of people. There are girly girls and the tomgirls. There are manly men and the soft, sympathetic boys (they're out there somewhere).
I know my family really influences how I am. I live mostly with my mom and my brother, and my house is like a universal home. Everyone feels welcome here, and my mom is like everyone's mom. I feel safe where I live, and with my family. I feel free to be how I am, and how I want to be. My brother is free to be how he wants to be as well. I can be how I am at my dad's as well, but I don't feel it as strongly. Not that my dad has a problem with how my brother and I are (he doesn't), I just realize more that we can be what we want to be when I'm thinking about my mom's place. Even at the begging of the school year when my mind was a mess, my mom told me: "follow your heart" and whenever I have a conflict, she will always tell me that.
My thoughts on life are that sometimes you just have to take a break and slow down. I was walking past a fountain surrounded by flowers, wishing that I could be like the people sitting there, who seemed to have all the time in the world, without as much of the worry and frustration as I was feeling at the time. There have been too many times recently where I've felt bad about taking a break, or worried that I should be working. Which leads me to my theories and thoughts on school.
Because of my current mood, my thoughts towards school aren't too positive at this point. I may look at the kids in class who are either sleeping, or calling out, and I think that at least I'm trying harder than they are. At least I'm not doing what they are. I've been feeling like no matter what I'm doing, it isn't good enough. There's too much work, and once I've completed the work there's more. And that if I feel it's too much now, it's really going to be bad in college. I also feel like I've had enough of high school. Most of my friends and people that I know are leaving, while I'm stuck in high school for another year. Thinking back on elementary school, middle school, and how high school has been so far I'm wondering why we all do it. I know that I don't want to be without an education, but I'm wondering what is it about school that makes me feel like this? Why do other students feel like this as well? What is it about school that makes people frustrated, depressed, wanting to give up? What is motivating us to continue? I'm motivated by the feeling that there will be something better after high school. Hopefully. I know that I'm going to end up going to a college where I can do what I like doing: painting, writing poetry, and being creative. Hopefully I'll actually get the time to do those things then. I don't hate school, I just hate feeling this way. There are some good things that come out of school. I'm glad that I'm at this school, instead of a school that is test based and text book based. There was a time where I got to do art four times a week, which was great. Another thing that is great about this school are the people in it. Without them, I'm not sure how I would keep coming back every day.
Over the course of middle school, and in high school, I have realized the different kinds of friendships. There can be friends that are stuck together, even though they have nothing in common. I'm not really sure how those work out. There are friendships where no one is benefitting from each other at all, and those are seriously lacking something. The friendship may start off young in middle school, where both people are happy, and it feels like they're helping each other. Those two best friends that seem inseparable. Alice and I always used to talk about how there are some friendships where one person may need the other, and the other may just be there. Alice used to be friends with a girl that she hung out with because the girl had money, no friends, and it was convenient for her (Alice) because any time she wanted something she could just ask the girl. Yet Alice felt bad hanging out with her, because she felt like she wasn't gaining or benefitting from hanging out with the girl.
Now I see what I want in my friends, because it's what I have. I can be myself, and they won't tell me to stop. One of my old best friends used to tell me to stop reading every time I'd pick up a book (reading is one of my passions) and she'd tell me to stop knitting whenever I was knitting (another hobby).. She'd call me a granny, or a nerd, or a book worm. And it wouldn't feel like a comfortable relationship. It may be wrong to discuss this on my blog and all. My point is that now I know what I want and like in a friendship. I like where people are all benefitting from each other, and they aren't afraid to be smart. They are smart, and not just smart, but smart smart. I feel a lot safer and more comfortable in this kind of friendship. As a group, we watch out for each other. We all want the other people in the group to eat, and will lend each other money. We realize when something is wrong, and want each other to be happy.
"Cuz we're in love I know it'll be alright" (Refuge (When It's Cold Outside) by John Legend) At the beginning of the school year, my thoughts on relationships was that I didn't want one. I felt like there was too much pain, and that I was better off being alone. My best friend used to ask me why I wanted to be alone, and why anyone would ever want to be alone? I had been in too many relationships that ended badly, or where I had felt miserable most of the time. I didn't want to be in a cage, and I didn't want to belong to anyone. Sounds a lot like Summer, from (500) Days Of Summer right? I've realized that now as well. As of now, my views on relationships have changed (obviously). My thoughts on relationships? I'm happy. Life is good.
Years ago, I read this quote on the paper attached to a teabag: "All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand." (Upon the Sand by Ella Wheeler Wilcox) And I completely agree with it.
There are relationships where the two people have nothing in common, and based mostly around sex (yes, I'm talking about teenagers) like in the book When It Happens by Susane Colasanti: "Are relationships always this complicated? Technically, Cynthia wasn't my girlfriend. So I don't exactly consider what we had a relationship. It was all about sex. We didn't have much in common except for our mutual lust for each other. Which was fine with me, until I got sick of the emotional void." (page 11) You get the gist. This character, Tobey, had been with a girl, but not really with her. He hadn't considered it dating, they would just have sex. Yet he knew what he wanted: "something real". And over the course of the book, he (along with everyone else) is looking for that something.
My thoughts on gender and thoughts on relationships are interlaced with each other. Sometimes, gender doesn't matter. In New York, there aren't really gender roles. Boys can have long hair and skinny jeans, and girls can dress and act like boys. There are also times where a girl by spirt is stuck in a boy's body, or vise versa, like the book Luna (by Julie Anne Peters): "Luna is a gem of a book, very unique in character and style. The book outlines the life of a boy who knows he is really a girl in a boy's body. He is a Transgender." This book is about a boy named Liam, who by day is a boy, and by night is a girl named Luna. Luna/ Liam has a sister named Regan, who is the only one that knows and supports Luna. Though my brother won't read this book, it reminds me of him. Kyle and Luna don't have similar stories, but they really remind me of each other.
My incredibly beautiful brother, Kyle. A year or so ago, I used to talk with my friends Alice and Cleo about relationships, and how it doesn't always matter what body a person is in. It's just about the spirt, and how the person is. I hadn't experienced it at the time, but we used to talk about when you're in love, it doesn't matter about gender, it just matters that you're happy. And once love grabs you by the throat, it really doesn't matter then. It's 2010, in New York, and there are all kinds of things that are different. People dress differently, and act differently. There are same sex couples.. In our school, there are tons of them. Gender roles don't matter so much any more. There are tons of kinds of people. There are girly girls and the tomgirls. There are manly men and the soft, sympathetic boys (they're out there somewhere).
I know my family really influences how I am. I live mostly with my mom and my brother, and my house is like a universal home. Everyone feels welcome here, and my mom is like everyone's mom. I feel safe where I live, and with my family. I feel free to be how I am, and how I want to be. My brother is free to be how he wants to be as well. I can be how I am at my dad's as well, but I don't feel it as strongly. Not that my dad has a problem with how my brother and I are (he doesn't), I just realize more that we can be what we want to be when I'm thinking about my mom's place. Even at the begging of the school year when my mind was a mess, my mom told me: "follow your heart" and whenever I have a conflict, she will always tell me that.
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